Sadly, the serrano chili pepper was not able to fulfill its little mission. I was wrenched from sleep a short time ago with that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Unfortunately, my attempt to make it to the bathroom in time was thwarted (a truly amazing feat in a house that boasts the square footage that mine does) and the first volley landed in the Ark. And by the Ark I mean Noah's. Even more unfortunate for the rest of the members of my household (see aforementioned square footage reference), the fact that the deck of the ship now resembled some sort of Shellback Initiation Ritual must have triggered some sort of motion sensor. "Animals arriving on the ark one by one. You can learn their names and more about each one..." Did I mention it is 1 in the morning? Whoops. Luckily flipping the switch to off didn't take me too long and I made it to the bathroom before I lost all of my dinner. And you know, that little f*cker was spicy on the way back up too. I know, disgusting, but as Katie commented, my blog has already gone past the point of no return.
PS - No one even woke up to help me in my plight.
PPS - No animals were hurt in this scenario since none were sleeping in the Ark, but instead scattered about the house in random places. In fact, I think tall giraffe is in Niko's sock drawer.
8 comments:
Oh yuck!
Maybe it's a sign that other things will be exiting your body...SOON.
Oh my gosh, I am dying right now. You should do stand up!
This just in. Up playing with Nikos and the CLEAN ark and heard the songs again. Funny how I got the lyrics wrong last night. It is supposed to be "Animals are riding on the ark for fun." Ha. I have a long history of getting the words wrong to songs. When we were little I told Melanie "Stand this Storm Forever (Nothin's Gonna Stop Us Now" was "Stanley's Gone Forever."
Actually, the vomiting might help. Muscle contractions are muscle contractions, you know? Good luck.
I wondered about the "animals arriving in the ark ONE by ONE" . . . certainly different than any Noah's Ark account I've ever heard, so I'm glad you posted the actual lyrics. Now I know my grandson is getting an accurate account of the Ark story.
And, coincidentally enough, I just heard "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" on the radio the other day and for the life of me I couldn't remember your version. Thanks for refreshing my memory of your funny interpretation!
Hi Heather! It's Nikki from HS....
Just stopped by to say hey and good luck getting that baby out.
It's a cool thought that she only has ONE birthday....AND she can't stay in there forever :)
But I'm not one to talk, I always had caesareans...
so even after 3 kids I have NO 'labor stories'....sorry, don't hate me. I'm saying a little prayer for you today to enjoy these last few 'days/minutes'...with only one little one. It's a crazy ride hereafter :D
but an amazing one!
Hope you don't mind me following you with your mad word painting skills. I love a good blog!
ahh! you poor thing!
Hopefully she makes an appearance soon to spare you from any more of this! - although it makes for good reading :)
Dear Heather.. your mission was to have a baby but mine was to escape the resturant and live freely with the others in the ark.. for this.. I thank you.. and PS.... you are having twins.... i saw them and they say hi!!!
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